Quotes of the day from: Jenni Schaefer- Life Without Ed

"Think of people in your life who really care about you and who are interested in your recovery. Not just anyone can hold your hand as you make the most difficult journey of your life."
                                                              
"Replace perfectionism with persistence. After all, in recovery and life, it's persistence that really pays off. Forget about perfection."

A fresh start

I am a junior in college and will be starting my first semester at a local private college in about two weeks. When I was first diagnosed with my eating disorder back in June, I had no idea the sacrifices I would have to make to get well. I was all set up to start at this college this past September. I am a very driven and focused person and never imagined anything would stand so strongly between me and my dreams as my eating disorder did. I ended up taking off this last semester so that I could go the the partial hosipitalization program that I admitted myself into at the end of August. Now since being discharged from the program and in recovery, I am signed up for this spring semester. I can not wait but of course I am so very scared as well. I am starting at a new college, new people, new environment and entering the college scene for the first time without my one crutch that I have had since my first year in college, my eating disorder. My mind races with thoughts of how I am ever going to manage my time while remaining in such strong recovery with my eating disorder, control my perfectionist personality, not compare myself to every girl there, and maintain the grades I need to. After thinking through all these things, I stop for a minute and look back and realize how far I have come and how much I have changed within the past few months. I look at starting college with a clear lense that I am a new person now, my brain and body are actually working together and that will give me even more of an advantage than I have had all these years with my eating disorder. I will have the power to create lasting, connected relationships rather than the surface ones my eating disorder forced me to have in the past. Lastly, I have an incredible support team with my family, friends, and treatment team rallying behind me. They're all just a phone call away and will be there for me no matter what. I am not alone in this fight. I'm excited to start this new journey without ED and live life freely away from the bondage I've been under for the past 3 years while engulfed in ED. I believe that abandoning an eating disorder is challenging on so many different levels but one of the only ways to overcome it is when you have greater force to over rule it. I believe that force can be accomplished through prayer, honesty and hard work. Please join me on this journey of daily life recovering fro an Eating Disorder.