As I approach my two year anniversary of graduating from the partial hospitalization program I was in I take a moment to reflect over all the changes that have happened in the past two years. Through all of the ups and the downs, the struggles and the triumphs by God's grace I have continued to maintain a healthy weight and a generally healthy mindset as well.
I remember two years ago when I was faced with the question of: do I start my first semester as a junior at my dream college pursuing my dream career in communications and marketing or do I take the semester off and heal my body and my heart from the toll my eating disorder had taken on me? I can honestly say this was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Here I was a driven, A+ student, entering my dream college with high honors and scholarships and yet, as I sat in the doctor's office I contemplated postponing those future dreams I had clung onto so tightly. Now that I look back, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my decision to take a semester off and enter myself into rehab was one of the BEST decisions I have ever made,quite frankly, it saved my life.
After graduating from rehab two years ago I remember walking out those doors a different person. I had found who I really was, I had taken off the masks that my eating disorder had pressured me into putting on and I was on the road to mending hurting relationships with my family and friends while having an awareness more than ever before of just how much God loves me. It is because of Him that I can sit here today and write this post. He intervened on my life through my family's support, some of the best doctor's in the nation, a handful of rallying friends, and my beloved therapists. I am forever thankful.
Today, I sit in my college's library as a second semester senior majoring in Communications & Rhetoric minoring in Marketing. I cannot wait to graduate in just a few short months. Because of my choice for recovery I have had the opportunity of collaborating with some exceptional people at Nazareth to work on a project called PhotoVoice where I directed a campaign documenting the lives of homeless individuals in the area through pictures of their everyday living conditions. I have participated in an independent study project with one of my favorite professors, learning the new trend of Media Marathoning. I have had opportunities to do my own freelance marketing work for companies and individuals in the area. I interned at my dream advertising agency this past August as an Account Service intern where I attended press conferences, met the city's mayor, met and worked with some of the most successful people in the industry, helped plan event marketing and much more. I currently work in media relations at my college. I have made lasting connections with some of the area's leading individuals in the advertising/marketing industry through attending events. As the matter a fact, I just left a video teleconference with Zappos executives that the dean of my school invited me to attend.
Above I have only mentioned my professional accomplishments. The personal blessings in my life for the past two years completely overwhelm me. I have been able to spend quality time with my amazing parents as a true connected family again. I have taken time out of my day to spend with my extended family as well as taking vacations with them. Ready for the great news?? 9 months ago this week, I met one of the most amazing men I have ever met. His name is Dan. We have been dating for just about 9 months and I thank God every single day for bringing him into my life. He is an exceptional person, kind, loving, caring, compassionate, and accepts me just as I am. Dan has helped me through the journey of recovery by reminding me it's not about the exterior, it's the interior, the heart that matters. He doesn't judge my beauty based on my pant size, he sees me for who I am, beyond the physical. I can say that I would not be this far in my recovery without his daily support.
Now you may be thinking why is this girl ranting about the past two year's blessings and accomplishments. Well, I assure you, it's not for a pat on the back but rather to serve as a reminder that recovery sets you FREE. Recovery allows you to pursue your dreams, rise to challenges, and impact the world around you. I know that if I was still practicing my eating disorder I would not be where I am today. Sure, I may have been successful in school and be the smartest in my class but I would not be living the quality of life I live today. I have a balance which is crucial to my mental, physical and spiritual health.
I urge you, if you are reading this today and desire that freedom that comes with recovery but feel trapped and afraid that nobody is there to help you and that nobody cares, please please please reach out for help because somebody does love you, loves you enough that He gave his life for you: Jesus. Cry out to him for help and going beyond that feel free to email me: pageb3@gmail.com anytime, I'd be happy to talk with you, I was in your shoes. Another great resource is www.nationaleatingdisorders.org, reach out to them too.
You are worth more than your pant size. Go out and be BeaYOUtiful today!
xoxo-Bre
