Bridal "Duties"

After being engaged nearly 4 months now, it seems like within these past 4 months at least a dozen other friends of mine have gotten engaged as well! While becoming a soon-to-be-bride is one of the most exciting times in a girl’s life, I have found that the title also brings a lot of pressure.

I wanted to write this blog post to try and encourage my fellow bride friends who have ever struggled with an eating disorder but it’s also a time for me to journal about my frustrations with the assumptions society today places on soon-to-be-brides.

Ever since the night I got engaged I have continued collecting stacks upon stacks of bridal magazines seeking all I may need to know about wedding day prep and how to make my dream day “perfect.” As I flip through these magazines I seem to find a common trend which is really disturbing to me. The headlines on almost every other page are titled things such as “Time to Get Gorgeous”, “Create that Perfect Wedding Day Glow”, “Glisten Up”, “Shine Your Hair,” etc. Essentially, according to all these magazines, when it comes to being a bride being BEAUTIFUL is a prerequisite. I have just highlighted a few of the beauty headlines that flood the magazines, however, the most attention  is placed on getting that wedding day/honeymoon body  that also seems to be an assumed “must” if you plan on walking down the aisle and being socially accepted.

As a girl with a history of anorexia, when I first started reading these articles, I was honestly a bit deceived thinking I need to know and do this stuff since I am a bride after all but as time has gone on, I've seen how much of an impact these articles have made on me and my image of myself. Article after article left me feeling inadequate. I didn't like the path I was headed down since reading these articles and felt like my eating disorder past was coming back to haunt me.  If the articles weren't bad enough almost every person that comes up to me to congratulate me on being a bride leads into “So, what’s your wedding exercise program looking like??” or “You better get bikini ready for the honeymoon!”

After talking with my fiancé about this as well as my parents, I set up an appointment with my doctor just to touch base and seek some encouragement. As always, he reassured me, saying that on my wedding day I need to be nothing but myself and to make sure I don’t alter myself for society’s distorted “norm.” After seeking out my support team’s help and really thinking through things, I feel so much better now and realize that while it’s good to learn healthy bridal beauty tips to make me feel my best on my special day, it should not be running my thought process.

I’m not saying to boycott bridal magazines by any means; I’m just saying while flipping through the magazines, use a filter and be discretionary about what you believe as truth. As individuals with an eating disorder past, it’s easy to slip back into the “comfort” zone we once knew, which runs creepily parallel to the status quo the media has set up today.