What is Recovery? and what about being "Fat"?

My group therapy session homework last week was to write down two things...."What does recovery look like to me?" and "How do I feel about fat and weight gain?" I sat down and contemplated both of these questions and came to the conclusion of what each one means to me. Recovery is a daily choice, a stronger force, a whole lot of change, and a healthy lifestyle. Recovery is not something that's achieved in one day, it's a daily decision to take care of my body each and everyday. It also means to work harder than I ever have, to love my body.  Recovery is a force of strength that outsmarts the eating disorder and doesn't allow it to have control. Someone in recovery can expect change, a change of habits, change of thinking, and even a change in dress size. To me, right now, recovery is my number one priority. I don't want to go back to the eating disorder mindset, I want to embrace the new me. Something I have realized most recently is that recovery also means making sacrifices in other areas of life. I am not able to achieve 100 % in every area of my life when trying to focus on and balance everything including recovery, and I've learned that's okay and that recovery and my health are of utmost importance and everything else comes after that. Recovery is something absolutely beautiful and life changing when embraced by an individual willing to change. Now, onto the next topic, being "fat" and weight gain. Quite honestly, being fat is something forbidden to a person with an eating disorder. It's strange because if I see a heavy set person, I pick out all of the good in them and don't focus on their outward appearance but the second that I feel fat, it becomes a national emergency in my brain and life. When I'm engulfed in that negative thinking, I don't see anything but the fat on my body. Weight gain when in recovery is inevitable but one must just remain focused on the ends result and not allow that alone to distract them. In summary, when in recovery stay focused, dedicated, positive, and pray to God for His help. With determination and faith, you can achieve great things ;)