Wednesday, March 16, 2016

I stumbled upon this quote today and I think I may just frame it. Being someone with a history of an #eatingdisorder {ED} and fighting to choose #recovery every single day, this quote means everything. When you're sick with an #ED, there is no freedom, you don't have control of your own body, the ED dictates what you can eat and when and if you slip up and "cheat" then you have to pay for it at the gym the next day and in my case, with #anorexia in the past, through restricting. It's a vicious cycle of self-hate and fighting to simply see that number on the scale that you're striving for. But guess what? Years ago, even when I saw that number that I wanted to achieve so badly pop up on the scale, my ED told me I had to lose more and I needed to fight harder, and where did that number on the scale eventually lead me? To rehab. By the grace of my incredible Lord and Savior, I have been symptom free since I left rehab in 2010 but that doesn't mean I don't have to fight the force of my past every single day. I don't think like an"normal" person, my thought process when it comes to food, exercise and health is often distorted and excessive but one thing I've learned over my years of recovery is that chasing the number on the scale only made me miss out on so many amazing things in life and so many experiences. Don't make the same mistake I did, take time to ENJOY life and food for that matter. It's far too short to miss out on because of a silly number. I now believe in living a truly #healthy life and sharing new experiences with my friends and family....I don't want to miss out more than I already have. Thanks for reading this rather lengthy post, I only share this because I hope and pray that if you're struggling with an eating disorder today, you find the hope and freedom that I have. 


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