You are Beautiful

You are made for more than a number on the scale. You were made to stand out for YOU not as a clone of someone else. Don't let anyone tell you any differently.

Recovery is Freedom

As I approach my two year anniversary of graduating from the partial hospitalization program I was in I take a moment to reflect over all the changes that have happened in the past two years. Through all of the ups and the downs, the struggles and the triumphs by God's grace I have continued to maintain a healthy weight and a generally healthy mindset as well.
I remember two years ago when I was faced with the question of: do I start my first semester as a junior at my dream college pursuing my dream career in communications and marketing or do I take the semester off and heal my body and my heart from the toll my eating disorder had taken on me? I can honestly say this was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Here I was a driven, A+ student, entering my dream college with high honors and scholarships and yet, as I sat in the doctor's office I contemplated postponing those future dreams I had clung onto so tightly. Now that I look back, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my decision to take a semester off and enter myself into rehab was one of the BEST decisions I have ever made,quite frankly, it saved my life.
After graduating from rehab two years ago I remember walking out those doors a different person. I had found who I really was, I had taken off the masks that my eating disorder had pressured me into putting on and I was on the road to mending hurting relationships with my family and friends while having an awareness more than ever before of just how much God loves me. It is because of Him that I can sit here today and write this post. He intervened on my life through my family's support, some of the best doctor's in the nation, a handful of rallying friends, and my beloved therapists. I am forever thankful.
Today, I sit in my college's library as a second semester senior majoring in Communications & Rhetoric minoring in Marketing. I cannot wait to graduate in just a few short months. Because of my choice for recovery I have had the opportunity of collaborating with some exceptional people at Nazareth to work on a project called PhotoVoice where I directed a campaign documenting the lives of homeless individuals in the area through pictures of their everyday living conditions. I have participated in an independent study project with one of my favorite professors, learning the new trend of Media Marathoning. I have had opportunities to do my own freelance marketing work for companies and individuals in the area. I interned at my dream advertising agency this past August as an Account Service intern where I attended press conferences, met the city's mayor, met and worked with some of the most successful people in the industry, helped plan event marketing and much more. I currently work in media relations at my college. I have made lasting connections with some of the area's leading individuals in the advertising/marketing industry through attending events. As the matter a fact, I just left a video teleconference with Zappos executives that the dean of my school invited me to attend.
Above I have only mentioned my professional accomplishments. The personal blessings in my life for the past two years completely overwhelm me. I have been able to spend quality time with my amazing parents as a true connected family again. I have taken time out of my day to spend with my extended family as well as taking vacations with them. Ready for the great  news?? 9 months ago this week, I met one of the most amazing men I have ever met. His name is Dan. We have been dating for just about 9 months and I thank God every single day for bringing him into my life. He is an exceptional person, kind, loving, caring, compassionate, and accepts me just as I am. Dan has helped me through the journey of recovery by reminding me it's not about the exterior, it's the interior, the heart that matters. He doesn't judge my beauty based on my pant size, he sees me for who I am, beyond the physical. I can say that I would not be this far in my recovery without his daily support.
Now you may be thinking why is this girl ranting about the past two year's blessings and accomplishments. Well, I assure you, it's not for a pat on the back but rather to serve as a reminder that recovery sets you FREE. Recovery allows you to pursue your dreams, rise to challenges, and impact the world around you. I know that if I was still practicing my eating disorder I would not be where I am today. Sure, I may have been successful in school and be the smartest in my class but I would not be living the quality of life I live today. I have a balance which is crucial to my mental, physical and spiritual health.
I urge you, if you are reading this today and desire that freedom that comes with recovery but feel trapped and afraid that nobody is there to help you and that nobody cares, please please please reach out for help because somebody does love you, loves you enough that He gave his life for you: Jesus. Cry out to him for help and going beyond that feel free to email me: pageb3@gmail.com anytime, I'd be happy to talk with you, I was in your shoes. Another great resource is www.nationaleatingdisorders.org, reach out to them too.
You are worth more than your pant size. Go out and be BeaYOUtiful today!
xoxo-Bre

Join IN!

Log onto http://www.neda.org/ to check for upcoming walks near you! I am so excited to be a part of the upcoming walk in Syracuse! http://neda.nationaleatingdisorders.org/site/TR?fr_id=1880&pg=entry

When it Hits Home

I was talking with a friend yesterday and she mentioned to me how emotionally drained she is after hearing her mom say day in and day out, "You're fat. You need to lose weight." In addition, she said that her dad often tells her she needs to "hit the gym." This is all being said to a girl who is well in the range of a truly "healthy" weight for her height. Her mom is suffering from an eating disorder and her dad puts just as much pressure on the mom to be thin as he does his daughter. Amazing how people that you live with day in and day out can impact your own lifestyle by their actions and the things they say. My friend told me she's often afraid to even eat in front of her parents in fear that they may call her "fat" again. So the question I am addressing in this blog post is...what does someone do when surrounded by people practicing eating disorder behaviors on a daily basis? How do you stay strong? These people around you could be the media, a parent, a sister, a roommate, a co-worker, etc. Whatever form of influence is creeping in on you, it's important that you stand strong against the eating disorder force that is trying to overwhelm you. The first step to staying of a healthy mind and body is to acknowledge to yourself and those around you that you trust that you are in fact feeling pressured by these people and influences. Acknowledgement it is the first step towards combating the temptation. The eating disorder mindset wants you to think it's not a big deal and to just brush it off like it's nothing. BUT it is a big deal. An outside force is making YOU and YOURSELF feel inadequate. . . that's not okay. Secondly, just like those around you who are waking up making the choice to starve themselves all day, YOU need to wake up and make the choice every single day to eat to live and to take care of your body by nourishing it with what it needs not what those around you are trying to tell you it needs or doesn't need. Thirdly, when someone is so far into their eating disorder that they are trying to drag you down with them, don't try to be their hero and get sucked in, in the process. You need to first take care of yourself. The eating disorder is a powerful force, if you are going to try and help a friend or family member that you are concerned about, don't do it alone, reach out to resources to help you as you approach them about the issue. www.nationaleatingdisorders.org has great resources concerning this. Or even e-mail me at pageb3@gmail.com. I would be happy to help. Lastly, know as much as you can about eating disorder behaviors so that you can be aware of when they are being used by the person practicing the eating disorder. By being aware, you are allowing yourself to be better equipped to not fall captive to the lies that the disease tries to tell you through others who believe the lies themselves. Bottom line, if you are feeling pressure about how you look and you think you're inferior, you are not! Resist the overwhelming tide telling you to fit in with the status quo and remember that you need to focus on keeping yourself healthy according to your personal body type. Always know that the Lord sees you as His beautiful creation and you are perfect in His eyes. When you have moments of doubt read Psalm 139 and focus on just how special you are to God as His own unique creation. <3

You are Loved

I have been hearing about a disturbing amount of suicides lately that are hitting very close to home. A college professor at my school committed suicide the other day leaving a wife and two young children, a few weeks ago a girl that my sister went to school with also committed suicide. This news is just devastating. Many of the family members of individuals that commit suicide are shocked that the individual was that unhappy that they took their own life. Many appear on the outside to be loving life and have a frontup to make others think they are okay when internally they are filled with negative self talk and are getting destroyed from the inside out. One of the number one causes of suicide today is eating disorders. Eating disorders slowly drag one into solitude, separation from others, away from themselves and their feelings and create a tunnel vision that they need to only focus on the eating disorder in order to be happy. Along with various physical ramifications, those practicing eating disorders have mental ramifications as well. The negative self talk that one has with themselves and the degrading remarks and comments that the eating disorder stimulates in one's brain can be detrimental. How do I know this? I experienced it first hand, I felt the depression and feeling of nothingness that the eating disorder led me to. I realize how easy it is for those practicing eating disorder behaviors to have thoughts of suicide because they simply feel that no matter what they do they are not good enough and they feel as if they are not loved. After going to rehab and beginning my venture in recovery I realized something that I want to share with you. The eating disorder is lying and telling you nobody cares about you and nobody loves you but if you look around you, you pushed away the very people that love you the most. You turned to the eating disorder to fulfill all of your needs and desires and to make you feel that temporary love based on being perfect and skinny. You are in fact surrounded by people that love and care about you whether it be a family member,a teacher, a close friend, or even your doctor. There are people that value your life and want to help you. Most of all, even if you feel like there is nobody on this earth that loves you, there is someone that loves you so much that He gave His life for you. That is Jesus Christ, Your heavenly Father loves, values and cherishes you. He created you and knows every hair on your head. He died on the cross for you and the sacrifice of His life makes it possible for you to have a relationship with Him, if you so choose. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him should have eternal life." So the next time you feel unloved remember this verse :) Also, here is a link to resources that are available to help you. You CAN get help, reach out to an organization that wants to help you get on the road to recovery. RESOURCES

Inspiring Story

Faith brought her out of despair, and she never goes a day — rarely more than an hour or two — without praising God for everything she has in life.

http://www.foxsportssouth.com/03/06/12/Homecoming-queen-wants-to-play-football-/msn_landing.html?blockID=681206&feedID=3703

NEDAwareness Week

It's National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Visit this link for more information! http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
Do something great for your self confidence this week and thank God for how beautiful He has made you ♥ You are one of a kind, made by Him!